my mind.
i hate the brittleness of it all
i see the cracks every where
surrounded by moments
of lucid brevity; potholes; contempt
i wonder what it will look like
when it all crumbles
when it all turns to dust
~C.B.M
I refuse to believe in love at first sight. Just the very inkling that it’s possible to give oneself so wholly in a moment seems like a fairy tale. Love is a slow burn; its less the fire and more like the embers; the long roasting kindle upon which the flames of life are perched. Though I wish it were different, I do, I wish love could stampede in and out of life in a flurry of feel goods and forget me nots, but it doesn’t, it eats you from the inside out and it doesn’t stop until you’re hollow. That’s why I refuse to believe in love at first sight, because if falling in love were that easy..we’d all be empty; the world and our existence would be that much scarier.”
— C.B.M
^word
(Source: w4termelons, via labroselove)
^word
(Source: amandaraeguthrie, via simply-a-sailor)
I have always been fascinated by language and the power it has over our lives. Unlike others I don’t see the written word as a set of rules and guidelines to be followed; a machine to be oiled, an output to be measured. Written words aren’t some endangered species to be fawned over; Its more like a childhood chemistry set; throw some shit together and hopefully it blows up, preferably not in your face. When using words as building blocks…well Lego blocks, you don’t always have to build whats pictured on the package in fact I implore you not too. After all that is what makes writing an art. The fact that everyone can do it all together the same and differently.”
— C.B.M
I never truly understood fairy tales. I get the “happily” part well enough but what really confused me was the whole “ever after” part. I guess its kind of sad that even with the vast imagination most children are gifted with, I couldn’t grasp the concept of lasting happiness. Even now the idea slips from recognition no matter how hard I grasp at it. Maybe happiness is less of an adjective and more of a verb, maybe just maybe lasting happiness is made up like some pot of gold at the end of some delicious rainbow. Maybe lasting happiness is who you are and not what you are. Ultimately maybe somethings are just better misunderstood…maybe lasting happiness is just lost in translation and misinterpreted like it’s supposed to be.”
— C.B.M
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Off the top freestyle over Cam’ron’s “Get em Daddy”
“Blessed”
2 40s and a Boombox
~C.B.M
I have found few ways around my burgeoning lack of self worth. Usually writing or rhyming is all the catharsis I need. Lately that has not been enough. A few days ago, I stopped having nightly dreams. My writer’s block might as well be a barricade. I am beginning to wonder…is this what reality is like? is this how other people feel all the time? the feeling of not even being good enough for themselves? Usually I like being trapped in my own head but lately…I think…I might be allergic to reality.”
— C.B.M
